Community Bucket List

Artwork by: Michelle Minero

I’ve been writing almost every day for the Love Warrior Community’s self-love writing event, the 10 Minute Self-Love Writing Challenge for the month of January. Anybody can submit self-love writing to the Self-Love Warrior group blog. And we have been suggesting a 10 minute time frame because who can’t find 10 minutes out of their day to spare, especially when it’s for self-love and self-care.

Something I’ve noticed over the past year is that a lot of my self-love posts would be great content that I would like to write for Community Bucket List. It made me realize that self-love & pursuing your dreams and passions go hand in hand.

Something most of us have heard, and often: You have to love yourself before you can love others.

I believe you can have profound love for others, without loving yourself. I think a lot of people live that way, but in order to have a healthy relationship with someone, especially a romantic relationship, I believe you have to love yourself, see the value in yourself and know that you are valuable, beautiful and worthy of good in your life before you can truly be in a healthy loving relationship with others.

The number one thing that breaks up people is being insecure and doubting yourself. That comes off in either letting people treat you badly, taking out your anger or insecurities on your loved one or not being open and trusting because putting yourself in a vulnerable situation is frightening enough, but it’s even more frightening when you have this fear and insecurity of them not liking what you’d reveal to them if you were more open & honest.

Love yourself before others, that’s the common theme of how people know self-love can benefit them, in their relationships, their romantic relationships, their familial relationships, their friendships, with their colleagues, etc.

But what about your relationship with yourself?

Self-love can help you in any aspect of your life. If you love yourself, you can truly achieve anything — anything that you can imagine, you can make happen.

My mom and I created the Love Warrior Community because my mom works as a therapist and she specializes in treating clients with eating disorders, or disordered eating, or body dissatisfaction — basically, she helps people who don’t love themselves, and she helps them to see their beauty as human beings. She helps them to see that they are worthy of love. She helps them to love themselves and then to spread their light to others. In 2009, my mom asked me to build her a website, and over the years, it turned into more than just a website, it turned into the Love Warrior Community.

Anybody can benefit from self-love, even the most confident, positive people who already believe in themselves. Everyone can benefit from actively working on self-love.

Last January, I wrote a self-love post to the group blog for a month, every day. I’m doing the same thing this January. Writing consistent self-love posts again, I don’t know why I stopped. The benefits from it are exponential.

Some days I wake up fully energized, relaxed and excited for life, without caffeine. Since writing about my self-love journey since the beginning of January, I’ve been more focused on my passions, I’ve added more balance to my life, I’ve been taking care of myself more & treating myself healthier.

Artwork by: Michelle Minero

I’ve been exercising more, sleeping more, drinking more water and eating healthier, not to lose weight, not to gain a certain body type, not to fit into X clothing again — not for reasons relating to my physical appearance because in the past whenever I did get into the mindset of the importance of my body type being a certain way, that was not a loving thing to do in the least bit. When you put your focus on your body, it takes away your focus from yourself, it takes away your focus from your passions, it takes away your love and energy for life and it only feeds you negativity. It may not be apparent in the moment, but focusing on your body as an ornament, definitely has negative side affects.

When you put the focus on yourself as a person, as a human being with passions and desires and goals, and you help yourself fulfill those passions, that’s self-love. Self-love is listening to your body, it’s listening to your heart.

Since writing consistently about self-love, not only have I been treating myself healthier, and not only have I found an increase in my energy levels and my overall happiness and well being, but my excitement for my passions has increased ten fold.

I used to worry and think that I didn’t have time for X, Y and Z. I loved how I felt last January when I wrote and reflected on self-love, but some thoughts I had before writing again this year were, “I don’t have time.” I think making this year’s self-love writing only 10 minutes really helped. Some times I only write for 10 minutes, other times I let myself write whatever needs to come out, and it can take me up to an hour.

But during this self-love writing process, it has helped me to realize what I need more of in my life to live a more passionate, happier and balanced life, and I’ve also realized what I need less of in my life for more balance. I thought I didn’t have time to write about self-love, but in reality, it’s given me more time for what I need.

Me at SF Pride this past June by myself (for the last day). I had a blast!

I do have time to write about self-love. I do have time to go out with friends. I do have time to explore and go into San Fran on the weekend. I do have time to go to the gym and read a book on the bike. I do have time to go for a hike with my sister & niece. I do have time to watch a movie. I do have time to take a nap or sleep in. Whatever it is that I need, I have time for.

If I’m adding more social life and alone time into my life, then how does that effect the progress of my goals and my work life? It is actually helping. The progress that I am making — it’s going a lot faster than I expected, but not too fast. Since I am more balanced, more relaxed, more stress free — I feel good about whatever I do. I feel happy working. I feel happy sleeping. I’m happy about whatever. And because I’m not spending this time stressing out and wasting it with negative thought patterns, that’s freeing up my time to focus and take action on what I want.

Self-love and pursuing your goals & living your passions go hand in hand.

My mom & sister dressed as zombies for my 24th Birthday Zombie Oscar bash this past August. Why not a Halloween themed party in August?

Self-love is like a drug, or being imbued with a super hero power. When you love yourself, you have more energy, more focus, more drive and are excited more for life. When you love yourself, you literally believe that you can do and be anything.

When you love yourself, you’ll still have insecurities, but you’ll recognize them as what they are and what they’re worth, and you’ll realize that your insecurities are ridiculous, or highly unfounded. Or you’ll realize what they’re grounded in and what they’re trying to tell you, and you’ll work through them, or notice them as a thought flying by that you have no room for in your life, and you’ll be able to let it go.

When you love yourself, you’ll still have fears, but you’ll be strong enough to confront them.

You’ll grow, you’ll develop and you’ll live your life with passion, with love and openly.

Me with one of my best friends in Virginia on a Mini Yacht, during my 2 month back packing trip along the East Coast this past March through May.

Being filled with self-love — I compare it to being on drugs, to having super human powers, but really, nothing compares to it. Being in love with yourself raises your energy and what you’re capable of to a whole other level. When you believe in yourself that fully — You. Can. Do. Anything.

And self-love is a continuous practice. It’s not something you achieve one day, and then don’t have to work on again. It’s something you cultivate. It’s something you feed. It’s something you grow stronger each day — A daily self-love practice.

If you’re an inspiring entrepreneur, digital nomad, lifestyle designer, creative type, business owner, anything, anything at all, self-love will help you take your passions to the next level.

Me at a LGBT business mixer in SF this past weekend. I went out of my comfort zone in going by myself into SF and once I arrived there, I was completely in my comfort zone & had a blast. I just needed to take that inital step of jumping into the unkown.

Since I’ve been writing about self-love consistently for these past few weeks, I’ve been getting closer and closer to my dreams, my dreams as a writer, my dreams as lifestyle designer and digital nomad, my dreams as a community builder, my dreams as a global citizen, my dreams of helping others.

Advice for anyone who wants to accomplish anything, big or small. Take time to love yourself. Build a daily self-love practice, and you can start with only 10 minutes a day: 10 minutes a day of writing about it, of Yoga, of sleeping in, of doing something for yourself in a loving way.

This is one piece of advice that you will never regret taking action on.

There’s no better time to start something than right now.

To start your own self-love practice, here are some suggestions:

Visit the Self-Love Warrior group blog:

1. Read others’ self-love writing.

2. Leave a comment.

3. Write a self-love post & submit it to the group blog.

4. Buy yourself a journal and do your self-love writing in there.

5. Write about your self-love journey with a friend. Ask one of your best friends to do it with you for a week, for a month. And check in with each other. Share your writing, or just share the fact that you did write.

6. Like the Self-Love Facebook group and share your self-love journey with 300 + others on the same journey: Self-Love Facebook.

Visit the Love Warrior Community site.

7. Read the poetry, the short fiction, the body love letters, the body forgiveness letters and the quotes.

8. Listen to the music and watch the videos.

9. Look at the art and the photography.

10. Submit your own writing, photography, art, music and videos, either your favorites that others created or create your own to share with the Love Warrior Community.

When you have a tough decision to make, or just a great way to start out each day, ask yourself this question: “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself in this moment?”

Cheers to us living a passionate life, to taking action and to loving ourselves.

- Emelina